I can’t really think of an easier way to describe the elves four food groups that I have read about in a bunch of books. I love the concept. It seems so simple but so true.
The elves are an intergalactic race that are generally described as tall, skinny, green skinned, and very good at eating. They live all over the universe, but usually come back to Earth for holidays or special occasions. They have a lot of super powers too, like the ability to create an ice age in their own time if they feel like it, and the ability to shrink themselves to half their original size.
They have an interesting food habits too. A new study from researchers at Carnegie Mellon University found that elves have a preference for eating meat. Though the elves were not actually tested on this particular food preference, it would be interesting to see if they really do have a meat fetish.
The researchers found that elves prefer meat over vegetables, fruit, and grains because they’re tasty. This is because they like to cook meat in a way that they can control it, and meat is the most controllable of the group. They also stated that they have a preference for meat because it is very healthy and they are not frugal like other creatures in the game.
I like that they tested elves on this one because it makes them sound more like the creatures we actually eat. Although, as anyone who has played The Binding of Isaac knows, meat is very high on the list of things a character can do to keep themselves alive.
I’m not a fan of meat at all, so I can’t say I fully agree here. But I can say that if someone is going to eat meat they may as well be eating for their own health. At least they are not eating meat that can’t be cured or processed. I mean, if you think that every time meat is being processed you are automatically consuming processed meat, you may as well stop reading right now.
I don’t know about you, but I do eat meat. I eat meat that is cooked or is on the bone, and I eat meat that is cooked (so long as it’s not chicken), and I eat meat that is raw. I eat meat that is not processed, and I eat raw meat. (And I eat raw meat. I’m just not sure how to tell if it’s raw meat or not. I’ve tried to tell people it’s raw…
It is impossible to have any real food-related conversations with anyone who is not a meat eater. Meat is so processed, its barely a meal. And for those of you who just want the meat, you can eat it raw. I know, I know, you can eat raw meat and still eat meat. But I just want to tell you that this is not a conversation.
We’ve known since day one that the elves in the game are eating raw meat. In fact, they’ve been known to eat raw meat their entire lives. But when a group of players complained that they were being forced to eat raw meat, a developer was dispatched to make sure they were not. The only way to know whether someone eats raw meat is by looking at it directly, so this is a first for us.
The developers decided that they were going to be a little more subtle in the future, so they did not say “We are eating raw meat.” Instead, they said “We are eating raw meat and we are eating it raw.” Because, you know, it is a thing.
